How to Charm Strangers


charming

Getting to know people and make new friends can be a daunting task for anyone who has moved away from their usual environment, started at a new school, workplace, or even if they just want to meet new people.

In any case knowing how to charm everyone you meet from infant to elderly will make your quest for friends, fun and adventure infinitely more exciting, enjoyable and successful.

Be cautious though! Charm, coupled with dangerous good looks is a combination that can be deadly, if you are good looking try not to use too much charm or you run the risk of being utterly adored by people you don’t like and uttered loathed by everybody else.

Secondly, a good dose of charm directed towards the wrong people can get you into a bad situation so be careful with your power and be sure to use it wisely. It may not be such a good idea to charm a prisoner, for example.

Cheeky Smile and Twinkling Eyes

So let’s get down to it. The first and most important trait of being charming is a genuine or cheeky smile and twinkle in your eye. The reason for this is that you must let your charm-ee know that you are not being serious.

This helps them to let down their guard and be open to laughing at your hilarious jokes or pleasant teasing. This stage is crucial.

Develop your smile to be natural and pleasant, try to convey a sense of easy going lightness and a playful aura. Likewise, many lines you will deliver when you are being charming are well tempered with a subtle wink at the end.

Convincing Your Charm-ee that they are Charming

The second most important part of being charming is to make the person you are talking to believe that they are entertaining and enthralling and that is why you are there listening to them.

They must believe that they are offering you something that you could get from nobody else. This gives the charm-ee the sense that they are important and interesting and they will remember you because you made them feel good about themselves.

Confidence and Sass

Next comes confidence. It is almost impossible to be charming without this. If you don’t have it, pretend to. The chances are the stranger with whom you are chatting has no idea about your real personality yet, so there’s no harm in experimenting with whatever attitude strikes your fancy at the time.

Tone and Expression

The tone of your voice is yet another important factor in being charming. Knowing what tone of voice to use in what situation is crucial to being able to charm the pants off any individual you come across.

If you want to flirt for example, lower you tone, speak more quietly so the person has to concentrate hard on what you are saying or lean in to hear you properly.

If you choose to be loud and energetic in group scenario’s don’t forget to include everyone into the conversation or you run the risk of intimidating, overwhelming and excluding other people.

You will also look a bit attention seeking. There is nothing wrong with being loud and fun, just be careful to let other people express themselves too. Bring them into your character don’t lock them out.

Dangerous Charm

Being charming at work or to people of authority is another hurdle because you have to be appropriate. Charm does not equally sexual. You can be charming without inserting sexuality or flirtiness.

This is a different type of charm, more about conveying energy and happiness in order to make the other person feel less serious and more attracted to your vitality. Your boss for example, you can’t be sexual towards them but you can be happy, and playful about how you handle things around the office.

Obviously make sure your doing your job done though otherwise you run the risk of being seen as a slacker.

Original Compliments

Generally speaking, people hear the same old compliments all the time, particularly if they have a stand out feature, like orange eyes or green skin. They probably still like those compliments but you will not stand out to them if you tell them what they already know.

The trick to being remembered is to tell them something they didn’t already hear from five hundred other people. Try complimenting their ‘delightfully enchanting giggle,’ or their ‘exceptionally glorious moustache.

What do your think of a charmer? Love em or hate em? Let me know in the comments below.

Image courtesy of : www.esquire.com

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3 comments

  1. Definitely some good tips for those who have just moved to a new city/state/country, and for those that are just a little introverted or shy.

  2. Great tips, some of these things need explicit teaching. I do wonder about the “dangers”of being too charming, you’re oh-so-coy. I find myself, whether due to charm or height, it is uncommon for me to walk down a city street without someone asking me for directions or money. An open face, my jolly beard, who knows.

    I think many people put up defences to ward off asshole strangers. The truth is, the majority of people are nice people, and if you let your defences down and open yourself up with smiles, eyes, and open body language, they’ll respond well. It pays to learn!

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